Recognize Reality

It's really important to me that women, as a minority group, living in this patriarchal society, communicate as a whole and share their experiences and stories to let other women know that they are not the only ones to experience intimate partner abuse. It's Abuse is a website dedicated to the awareness of intimate partner abuse. Abuse can be physical, psychological, verbal or emotional. Just because your significant other doesn't cause you physical pain, doesn't mean that the mental anguish is alright.

I recently had to file a protection order against someone who didn't know when to stop. When we broke up he called me a slut and a whore and threatened to kill himself. He left me voice mails and text messages begging to speak with me and begging to get back together with me. He sent me pictures of him cutting himself and blaming it on me. He harassed my friends, even went as far as to message my dad on facebook. I had to block him and everyone I knew through him on facebook as well as change my phone number and cancel my myspace account. This truly was a test of my strength as a woman and as a human being, and if I wasn't as strong as I am, I think there would have been an entirely different outcome to my life as I know it right now. I am so grateful that I have had the resources that I had to overcome this horrible experience. I successfully achieved a 3 year protection order against him which forbids him to contact me in any way at all and forbids him to be in possession of a weapon.

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, just know that you are not the only one out there. There is always going to be ways to get out of an abusive relationship, no matter how many advantages your partner may have. Here are some statistics from the "It's Abuse" website:

• 1 in 4 women in the United States will experience some form of physical abuse by a spouse, former spouse, cohabitating partner, or dating partner at some point in their lives(1)
• 21% of college students report that having experienced dating violence by a current partner(2)
• 32% of college students report having experienced dating violence by a former partner(3)
• Women ages 16 to 24 experience the highest per capita rate of intimate violence, nearly three times more than any other age group(4)
• In 2001, about 85% of victimizations by intimate partners were against women (588,490) and 15% of victimizations were against men (103,220)(5)
• In 1994, 37% of all women who sought care in hospital emergency rooms for violence-related injuries were injured by a current or former spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend(6)
• 13% of college women were stalked during one six- to nine month period, and 80% of campus stalking victims knew their stalker(7)

Recognize reality and don't make excuses for abusive partners. Abuse is abuse, there is no masking it.